I’m falling for someone I can’t have. Simple as that.. I suppose.
We both know that what we’ve been doing is only going to hurt us in the end but neither of us ever stop…
I’m just falling so hard… I don’t know what to do! š¦
I want to go to my mom and try and ask her advice on this but I know she’ll be of no use to me. It seems like I have no one to turn to. So I’m stuck figuring all of this out for myself.. and I don’t think that’s how it should be.
I wanted to completely tell him my feelings and everything but I choked and never said anything. I’m just so afraid he’s going to be disgusted with me and tell me stay away. Or he’ll feel the same way back but won’t want to commit… or something down that line.
I’ve been hearing a lot of conspiracies here lately and to be honest, some of them actually have me thinking.
There’s one about how the government actually has a cure to every cancer but because they’re trying to keep the population under control they keep it hidden. If you think about it… it actually makes since!
We, as human beings, are over populating everything! We take up so much space because of the fact that there are so many of us. Now think about what would happen if something that started killing us came along. In a way it’s sad that so many die but then again.. with more of us gone it gives the earth another chance to regrow everything that had been destroyed. So it would make since to have the government cover up all of this to try and control the population. Really gets me thinking..
Another one is about Michael Jackson. Now I know there’s a lot of them out there and I hardly ever believe them.. but this one was just so convincing it was hard not to believe. It talked about this picture that had been put out by the media to prove that Michael was dead. It was a picture of him laying in a stretcher “dead”. Now at first glance you’d think that he was indeed dead but a closer look tells a whole different story. I can’t remember the person’s account that posted this video but I do know that this person did A LOT of research. The stretcher shown in the picture had bars that were straight. Just up and down, no curves. There is also a distinct red line that goes across the side. The person that had uploaded this video proceeded to call the hospital at which Michael Jackson supposedly stayed in after his death. Now, the hospital that he stayed in stopped making the kind of stretchers shown in the picture. The one’s they make now have curved bars. In the picture his stretcher had straight bars. It seems to me that something fishy is up. If Michael really was dead in that picture then why would he have been put on a stretcher that had only been used in the 90’s?
My theory for this is that the picture posted was taking from an earlier incident in the same hospital and that it wasn’t really him dead. Now the real question lies ahead. Why cover up his death? What was so bad about his death that it couldn’t be shown..? SomethingĀ very pondered on by many.
Whether you choose to believe these or not is up to you.. but I’ve made up my mind on these things.
It’s just one of those days where you’re afraid to talk to someone because you feel as though you’re a constant bother.
This just sucks.
I hate feeling like I’m a complete bother to him. I feel like maybe I’m trying to hard. Am I?
Maybe I’m just afraid of losing the one thing I have right now. He really is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. He’s made me happy and smile. All the time. I really don’t want to lose that.
I’m afraid that if I keep trying to hold onto him that I’m just going to wind up losing him.. I don’t want that at all.
He got pretty mad at me yesterday but i guess it was kinda my fault. I don’t try to be pushy and never thought I was to begin with. But now I’m starting to think otherwise. Maybe it’s my fault I only have so many friends. Could I really be the reason why no one really wants to be around me? Could it seriously be fault?
Am I more than you bargained for yet
I’ve been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that’s just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I’m just a notch in your bedpost
But you’re just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you’re just a line in a song)
Drop a heart, break a name
We’re always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it
We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it
Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don’t mind me I’m watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn’t it messed up how I’m just dying to be him
I’m just a notch in your bedpost
But you’re just a line in a song
(Notch in your bedpost, but you’re just a line in a song)
Drop a heart, break a name
We’re always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it
[x2]
Down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it
We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it
We’re going down, down (down, down)
Down, down (down, down)
We’re going down, down (down, down)
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it
We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we’re going down swinging
I’ll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it
[Note: The correct lyrics really say “GOD complex”. It was confirmed by band members]
How often do we make promises to ourselves that winds up being āempty promisesā? Yesterday while I talking to a friend, I realize that I was being so positive and āvictoriousā in my speech but action was emanating far from that. I am sure he was left with the impression that I had it all together. Before the realization of what Iām about to explain, even I was caught up in the words. There were many words but very few actions. Yes, I know of having the positive mentality and speaking it into being but with speaking it comes acting on it.
James 2:26 āĀ For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
Speaking it is faith, acting on it is work. Thatās like declaring, you having your dream job but never doing the degree for it or even sending resumes. So isā¦
A blog reaching out to victims of abuse and others in need, providing insight about abuse, hope for the future, and guidance to see THE LIGHT that lead Secret Angel out of the darkness of her own abusive situation and helped her to not only survive but to overcome.
TurtleBoobies :) 