“Tis better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.”

THAT RIGHT THERE IS A LOAD OF FRACKING BULL!

At least to me right now it is. I’m not even sure if I love this person or not. I mean, I know I like him. A LOT. But.. love? I don’t even know if it exist.

“If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back then it was never yours to have.” (Pretty sure that’s how it goes)

He’s leaving and there’s nothing I can say or do that’s going to make him stay. I know I can’t be selfish and try to keep him here. He deserves better then to be stuck in this crappy state. Maybe.. he deserves better then me? I don’t know. I want to be the reason to make him stay. I want to be the one person who has the power of making him leave or stay. But I know I’m not that person. And I have to let him go. And it hurts. A lot. I don’t know what I’m going to do once he leaves, because once he’s gone.. he’s gone and that’ll be the end of whatever it was that we had. It’s almost like one of those tragic love stories you read about. It’s so predictable and you keep screaming at the girl that she’s going to get hurt but of course she goes off and falls in love with him and when it comes time for him to leave.. she convinces him to stay. Because he loves her too. But not in my tragic love story.

My story ends with him living a better life with someone new and better and me.. trying to find ways to cope with it. Me having to tell everyone I’m fine without him and that I’m strong. When really, all I do is hurt. That, is the ending to my beautiful yet tragic love story.